The first thing I have to say is...
WHY DID NO BODY INFORM ME ABOUT SQUAT TOILETS???????
You are all in trouble.
Id say my "You're not in Kansas any more" moment came in Kuala Lumpur Airport....
If you have never seen or used on of these abominations they call a toilet you will know what I am talking about. I went in looked at it, checked it out and decided to hold on til I got on the plane. Those toilets need to come with a tutorial! They are everywhere...and in Thailand sometimes you have to pay 5 baht to use one....seriously, Id pay 100 baht to use a normal bathroom....those hole things are icky and they take practice. This is one example of when being a boy is superior to being a girl.
I arrived at Bangkok Airport after about 20 hours of travelling only to find I couldn't find my arranged transfer. I was lost, everything was in Thai, I had no idea what I was doing, I had no phone and I could not work out for the life of me how to use a payphone. This is when I discovered how lovely Thai people are. I went to a policeman, well I think he was a cop, and he handed me his phone and let me call the Global Health Travel Team. They said the driver was there, I could not see him so the lovely Thai official took me to the taxis and sent me on my way.
So I get in my cab for one mind blowing journey through Bangkok at 10.30pm on a Saturday Night. Its hard to describe how I was feeling, tired, obviously, but in awe. In awe of the amount of people, the traffic, the street stalls, the lights, the smells, the sounds....OMG! This place is like nothing Ive ever experienced. I was worried, how was I going to deal with this place - its full on!
After a jaw dropping 45minutes I arrived at my accommodation. It is immaculate. Clean, spacious, comfortable. Lived up to my expectations 100%, and then I met Loverly, my nurse and go to gal. Not sure who gave her the name Loverly, its not her real name its the westernised one she uses, but whoever did, it describes her perfectly. Loverly spent half an hour with me making sure I was settled, had a phone and was OK.
The next morning, bright and early, I met Johnny. Johnny is cool. He is the GHT tour guide, anywhere you want to go, anything you want to do Johnny will take you and look after your every need.
Johnny took myself and 2 others off to The Floating Markets, he was a great guide and took care of everything for us. One thing I learnt was that I suck hard at bartering. The main problem is their first price is so reasonable I feel bad trying to get it cheaper, its already cheap, but Johnny intervened and taught me how to barter, I'm getting better but I really do not like to do it. The people here are so poor I really do not mind being ripped off a little.
After the markets I felt sick, really sick, the boat, the smells, the heat, so as I do I started to throw up. Johnny handed me what can only be described as a little bottle of magic. He told me to sniff it, I asked what it was and he said "Tiger Magic", and that it was. I am now completely addicted to this stuff, it stops my nausea and vomiting in an instant. I have bought about 30 bottles of it to bring home. Its some tiger balm concoction and it works. Johnny you did something for me that no western Dr has ever been able to do, make me feel better in an instant. I will always be grateful to you for introducing me to that stuff.
Later that evening Johnny picked us up again and took us to the Lady Boy show, Calypso. We caught the Sky Train then a boat, again, I'm so grateful that I had someone to show me how all of that worked and who knew exactly where to go and what to do. The show was AMAZING and I highly recommend you go if you are ever in Bangkok.
But today is D- Day, Dentist Day.
I was all good until about 2 hours before my appointment and then the fear and anxiety began to close in. I was in tears, I felt alone and scared and all I wanted to do was go home. That was until Loverly came to visit.
She sat with me and talked to me and reassured me. She didn't sugar coat or indulge my anxiety she let me talk through it. She held my hand, she listened to me, she was warm and understanding. The fact that I knew that I was coming back to a hotel and had people waiting for my return made it possible for me to get in the car when it arrived.....
I'm just not so sure how I'm going to be when the car pulls up at the dentist.
This really is it people.
Goodbye ugly.
Hello beautiful.
Well, that's if I don't run away to the airport and fly home.....
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